Settling is Not Giving Up
What’s it like to have to settle? We, that general we, don’t like to settle we’re told not to settle. Don’t give up, don’t take second best. Strive to be a winner, number 1, you deserve it, you’re better than this, you’ll never be satisfied if you settle.
Truth is, sometimes we have to settle. Sometimes we have to stay where we are and make the most of it.
What I’ve learned is that you’ve got to make the most out of the time of settling. It may truly feel like sitting in crap day after day, hour after hour. But, if we make a slight shift and use the experience to learn, put some structure to it, that small shift can make a world of difference.
Here’s what I’ve come up with so far. A few strategies, practices, for your consideration:
Sit With It: sit down, in quiet, no distractions, close your eyes, focus on your breath, accept that this is how it has to be for now. While there may not be an end in sight, we know from 2020 alone, and surely from other life experiences, that things can change on a dime. So stay in the moment and commit to using this situation as a laboratory to learn more about yourself, others, and to practice skills you need to sharpen such as Asking Good Questions.
Ask Good Questions: this is a skill that can always be worked on. Being curious, challenging the status quo and asking, “What if” are all good starts to asking good questions.
Write It Down: whatever it is, write it down. This could be questions, ideas, journaling tough situations, gratitude. The act of putting something to paper gets it off the mind and heart and holds a record for future reflection.
Read: something enjoyable, something challenging, something new, something old. Reading is a great way to distract and keep us curious.
Accept the reality of what is right here and now and know you’re not the only person dealing with it. Turns out there are some good lessons to be learned. As a wise friend once told me, a lot of great stuff grows out of the SH*T. So whether it’s your garden or your laboratory, settle in.